AS I’M SITTING BACK IN MY FAVORITE CHAIR AND ACTUALLY BEING CALM FOR ONE FUCKING MOMENT IN THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LIFE, MY BLOCKMATE WALKS IN SOAKING.

“DID YOU TRIP INTO A TWITTERBEASTBATH AGAIN (I’M TRYING TO STIFLE MY LAUGHTER HERE)”

ERI: wwhatever(FUCK QUIRKS…..) Kar. (HE PROMPTLY WALK INTO THERE BATHROOM, INTENT ON TAKING A SHOWER OR SOMETHING.)

AT LEAST HE ALWAYS MANAGES TO MAKE MY DAY A LITTLE BETTER. ERI IS ONE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS AND MY MORAIL. WHAT THIS YOU SAY? A LOWBLOOD AND A SEADWELLER BEING MORAILS? *GASP*

FUCK OFF. BLOOD SHOULDN’T EVEN MATTER IN MORAILEGENCE OF MATESPITES OF ANY OF THE QUADRANTS. HE’S A GREAT GUY FOR A SEA DWELLER. ONCE YOU GET PAST THE SHELL HE PUTS UP, YOU KNOW, HOW HE ALWAYS ACTS LIKE HE HATES LANDDWELLERS AND IN ALONE FOREVER AND HE IS ALWAYS SAD, HE IS A KIND AND LOVING CHARACTER. WE (SURPRISINGLY) SHARE QUITE FEW INTERESTS LIKE ROLE PLAYING AND SHIPPING AND SQUISHY CHAIRS AND…LOTS OF OTHER STUFF.

(ERI JUST CAME IN WITH NOTHING ON….CUE CHEEKS GOING BRIGHT RED.)

“ERI, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? I DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT!”

ERI: what are you talking about Kar? you know you like it!(OH GOG, HE GETTING CLOSER)

*THERE IS A KNOCK AT OUR DOOR*

……

ROUGH DAY TODAY….DEALING WITH ALL THE FUCKING MORONS AND THE BEE OBSESSED IDIOT. AT LEAST I GOT TO LEARN A LITTLE BIT OF CODING AFTER I CALMED HIM DOWN. BUT THIS MULTIPLAYER IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING CHALLENGE.

*sits down in a very squishy chair*

WHAT? I HAPPEN TO LIKE SQUISHY CHAIRS! SO FUCKING SUE ME!

AND NOW HE IS FUCKING SULKING. THAT’S JUST GREAT…..

GUESS I HAVE TO CHEER HIM UP NOW……..

SOLLUX’S REACTION:

gogdamniitt Vantas!

THEN HE PROCEEDED TO GO AROUND THE OFFICE YELLING AT THE INTERNS. FUNNY AS FUCK.

TODAY I WENT UP THE THE FUCKING HEAD OF THIS FUCKING PROJECT AND TOLD HIM THAT THEY NEEDED TO ADD A FUCKING MULTIPLAYER.I FULLY EXPECTED TO GET FIRED THEN AND THERE.

HERE’S WHAT HE SAID:

ME: YOU NEED TO ADD A FUCKING GODDAMN MULTIPLAYER OR ELSE ALL YOU ARE GOING TO GET TO PLAY THE GAME ARE FAT NERDS LIKE SOLLUX WHO DO THINGS LIKE LAN PARTIES IN THEIR MOTHER’S BASEMENT!

HIM: ChIlL oUt BrO…….sUrE, yOu CaN aDd A mOtHeRfUcKiN’ mUlTiPlAyEr. Do WhAt InSpIrEs YoU bRO!

MY REACTION: HOW THE FUCK DID THIS FUCKASS GET THIS CUSHY JOB?!

THE GAME’S CONCEPT IS ONE OF THE STUPIDEST THINGS EVER. IT RELIES ON YOU HAVING FRIENDS AND THERE IS GOING TO BE NO MULTIPLAYER NETWORK UNLIKE GOOD GAMES. WHAT IF YOU DON’T HAVE FRIENDS?

……………….

FUCK.

TO START OFF, I SHOULD PROBABLY TELL YOU WHAT MY FUCKIN’ JOB IS. I’M A GODDAMN PROGRAMMER AT SOME SMALL TIME GAME COMPANY. AT LEAST IT WAS BETTER THEN MY OLD JOB AT FUCKASSES R’ US. ANYWAY SOLLUX GOT ME A JOB THERE, BUT THE FUCKING PROBLEM IS THAT I DON’T KNOW ANY FUCKING CODING AT ALL. GREAT THINKING YOU BI-POLAR FREAK! AND SO I HAVE TO NOW CHOOSE BETWEEN KEEPING MY APARTMENT OR TAKING FUCKING STUPID AS SHIT NIGHT CLASSES ON JAVA. AND GET THIS NAME FOR THE GAME THEY WANT TO MAKE. SBURB! WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NAME IS THAT!?

DUMB ROBOT….GOD IT HAS BEEN A TOUGH DAY AT WORK.

(Thus begins a AU where sburb didn’t happen)

…………FUCK YOU…